17th June, 2023 at Arera Club was an evening well spent with the author DGP, Dr. Mukesh Jain and members of Club Literati, discussing his book, A Happier You.
We are always seeking the answers of what is happiness? Is it a desired profession? Or is it having kids with a loved one? Or the luxuries of life? Or is there some short formula for happiness? Almost every person binds happiness with skill but is it so?
Most of our life is spent in the pursuit of happiness but how to find our happiness?
The session was enlightening and filled with the discussion which answered most of these questions.
The author himself, Dr. Mukesh Jain started his discussion with a tidbit on Michelangelo. He said that once, Michelangelo was asked, “what is the magic in your hands?”, to which he answered: “I don’t make statues, every stone has a statue in it, I just remove the unnecessary ones.” Likewise we should remove the hurdles in the way of us and our happiness. It might not be simple but it always works.
It is true that hard work leads to success and it is not necessary that it also leads to happiness.
The author raised the question of us seeking happiness and making happiness our final point, rather happiness has to be the starting point in leading a good life.
Dr. Jain also discussed with the audience the gene happiness research work of Robert Levenson and Sonja Lyubomirsky. He talked about the experiments done on paralysed people as they were given a winning lottery ticket to see whether they become happy after winning the money.
Role of genetic happiness, Veronica Huta and Richard Ryan’ work, role of meaningfulness, social relations were discussed as well. Dr. Jain concluded his discussion by stating that it has been proved that a giver is always happier and stays happy for a long period of time.
Panel members Dr. Vinay Mishra, a Prof. Of Psychology, told the audience how he is asked often, whether he is happy working in Antarctica. He confessed that though it is very formidable to live in Antarctica, he was happy. He said that, “while we are still in a difficult situation, you have to manoeuvre your way through.”
Recording the voices of their loved ones for later, helping each other to adjust helped him and his colleagues in the difficult time at Antarctica.
Dr. Mishra says, “We have come far away from Freudian Psychology. We know how we create our own emotional distress and manage it, dealing with it.”
He added that happiness can be invited by altering your lifestyle and modifying your environment.
Tips on modifying your environment:
- Assertiveness: Put your foot down and say the things you believe in: satisfaction of speaking your mind out
- Withdraw if necessary: we venture into and realise and we are riding on the wrong bus. Rather than stressing, you need to withdraw when necessary
- Compromise when it is required: have to leave a margin for other people
Avoiding stressful thoughts, having healthy social relations play a big part in a happier life.
Dr. Sangeeta Jauhari, another panel member, too shared her views on the book and happiness and shared the following points:
Keynotes from the book to practise: thoughts processed changed
- To be optimistic in all the situation
- Be internal in case of finding happiness
- Do no follow things blindly
- Be alert to be a superhero
- Find your own success parameters
- Be happy and achieve something you want
She also pointed out how necessary the book is for the students today!
Mr. Raghuraj Rajendran, shared that the human mind is always looking for happiness. It is something that we are always enquiring about. When a person is religiously inclined, he would go to the religious books to guide them. Thus the book is the answer, and happiness was the motivation.
Mr. Rajendran stated that nothing could have stopped Dr. Jain from writing the book A Happier You, with such need and motivation around him.
The session came to an end with the moderator sharing a few quotes from the book, her comments on the fulfilment curve and a few questions from the audience.
The session was full of tips for happiness and recommendations of books.
These are few listed here:
- If You Are So Smart Why Aren’t You Happy?